PAGES 55-56
On pp. 55 and 56 of GR, Sarah is describing the searing loss by miscarriage of the precious little one whom she and Todd were already calling "Tad."
She writes, "I was surprised by how much I loved motherhood. We desperately wanted another baby right away, so I was excited when I learned I was pregnant again. We were sure it was another boy, and we decided to call him Tad, a combination of Todd and Track.
"I loved the fact we had planned so well and that events were falling neatly into place in our well-ordered lives. Our babies would be a year apart, right on schedule....
"At my exam, the doctor listened for the baby's heartbeat. When she didn't smile, I didn't worry...But I noticed that she kept moving the stethoscope around. And she didn't hand it to me as doctors usually do, so the expectant mother can listen to the sound of life.
" 'Let's do a quick sonogram,' she said....
"...I waited expectantly for the familiar shoosh-shoosh-shoosh sound of the baby's beating heart.
"But it didn't come. And the sonogram picture looked empty.
"The doctor said coldly, 'There's nothing alive in there.'
"Her bluntness shocked me. I felt sick and hollow, and burst into tears….
"I wasn't listening. I was praying. Why, God? Why?
"I was stunned and felt so very empty….
"…The miscarriage carved a new depth in my heart."
Ah, what eternal depths of greatness and of pain are contained and compassed in the heart of a mother!!-TEARS! Sarah's words do not really require any comment. Nevertheless, I shall offer a few reflections and observations.
ORDER and order. Sarah refers above to "our well-ordered lives." There is our sense of order, our perspective, our vision, and then there is the Lord's. The Eternal Strategist, God, bestows on us the inestimable and ineffable privilege of cooperating in His work.
But, because He sees that which we cannot, namely, the whole panorama and panoply of His divine Plan and plans, He requires FAITH on our part. We must trust in His merciful dispositions and purposes. He was (and is) preparing Sarah's heart and spirit, we believe, for the vocation and call to a motherhood that extends far beyond the boundaries and confines of her own private family.
Horrible and intolerable as her pain over the loss of Tad was and, I would imagine, IS to this very day and hour and moment, would the mystery of her life have evolved and developed as it has absent this tragedy? Would Sarah be the Lady Warrior she is today had she not undergone this terrible wound and sorrow of young motherhood?
Perhaps losing Tad helped Sarah, many years later, to value her precious little Trig even more than she might have otherwise. And, as many of us believe, her bringing of Trig into this world in April of 2008 was the final test she had to pass before the Lord, on a never-to-be-forgotten late summer's day of glory, revealed her in all her loveliness to an America that was heartsick over the prospect of an obama "presidency," and was looking for a champion to oppose the vile, silver-tongued devil of the Left.
God willing, she will be our President soon, and will take her place in the deathless pantheon and Valhalla of heroes and heroines who have run the race, who have passed the test, who have given of their hearts' and souls' all that America may live.
But is this the end of the story?
I think not.
Guys, what I am about to say is just my personal opinion. It has no "theological" weight or status. It is just what I feel, indeed "know," in my gut.
When our Sarah Braveheart's long and glorious terrestrial journey and combat are finished and done, when the Gates of Heaven swing wide to welcome our noble lady into eternal bliss and felicity…
…a little boy…a little child will be standing there…a smile on his sweet, innocent face…little Tad…well-beloved Tad…never-forgotten Tad…
…he will stretch out his little arms and say…
"Hi, Mom; welcome home!!"
THE LAND WHERE ALL TEARS ARE WIPED AWAY.
The Lord, in an eternal voice of thunder and majesty, says:
ECCE NOVA FACIO OMNIA--BEHOLD, I MAKE ALL THINGS NEW.
No more tears; no more heartache; no more deep heart's loss…"for the former things have passed away…"
For our dear Sarah, for all of us…
ECCE NOVA FACIO OMNIA!!!